Stop comparing – Insta v Reality

Day one of October half term. Our one day off together.
As normal I have plans, I have expectations and – as normal – by 9am my hopes and dreams are as cold as my cup of tea…

7.30am, our 7 year old arrives in our room – the battery on her tablet has died, therefore is in need of entertaining! We plug her back in and all enjoy some relatively relaxed screen time.

8.30am, I stupidly suggest the wriggling ball of energy goes downstairs to a larger screen and her toys. Cue tantrum number one, she wants me to join her and play with her. Knowing the lack of food is an issue, we go downstairs and almost immediately she is helpful and polite, she gets the jam out, plates etc. I manage to bribe her with Lego and get her in front of the TV while I head off to hide in the bathroom for the foreseeable.

9.30-11.30, we leave the grumpy child resting and happily playing while we get some jobs around the house done. Out of sight and out of mind. I feel guilty that she’s in front of the TV but I have my masterplan and am confident for our family day…

11.30, we rudely suggest she gets dressed! (Food has worn off).
Still we forge ahead and ask if ‘anyone’ wants to go to Blackpool and spend her 2p’s (thanks Grandad!) in the arcade… She says no! She just wants to stay home and play with me. Now I’m getting much better at not filling our every waking moment and just being at home, but I’m not much better at playing all day! We also played all weekend – today is a going out day.

12.00, John has an appointment so while he’s out I try again. She barely listens, refuses to get dressed or entertain a trip anywhere, I mention prizes, tickets, ice cream and illuminations… Nothing. In the end I shout at her (not proud) and leave her to consider her choices while I make more food for her (worth a try!).

12.30, John tries… Still not up for a fun day out at the seaside. We ban the use of the word ‘no’ which she’s using everytime we open our mouths, and remind her we will use it when she wants to do something. At this point I’m nearly in tears too – so I make us some food too! I remember why I shouldn’t make plans and tell her I’m going out for a walk on my own as I can’t spend all day in the house, this leads to more tears.

13.00, she enters the room and announces she’d like to go to Blackpool!!!! (The power of food!). She skips off to get dressed and count her 2ps! We look on in stunned silence!

13.30 we leave the house, the heavens open… I wonder if we should have stayed at home…

What follows next is the pictures you see on Instagram, the happy faces, the blue sky (bloody miracle), the ‘best day ever’ prize winning and ice creams. The pictures I saw that made me want to have a day out! But believe me when I say there is more behind the photos than you see – the tired eyes, the cried out eyes, the what on earth eyes!

This is real life, and we’re all going through these highs and lows each day. So stop comparing your life with the Insta stories or Facebook posts, they’re what people want you to see and only scratch the surface of what someones day was like.

I’m not proud that I didn’t play this morning (but I do have clean sheets and a shelf on the wall!), I’m not proud that I shouted and put my frustrations on a tired 7 yr old.

I am proud that she wanted to give some of her prizes away to other kids (her idea) and I’m proud she said thank you in the restaurant when her food arrived without prompting.

What a rollercoaster.

Tomorrow it’s holiday club, and I’ll spend the day feeling guilty that we’re not spending time together when I see other peoples posts of pumpkin picking and trips to the park… While she plays with her friends and generally forgets we exist!

The guilt is real, but take solace in the fact you’re not alone x

The Insta version…